


Sea Sew

by triforcewaffles



Series: Vignettes [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based on Songs, F/F, Fluff, also a good amount of angst, bellow diamond - Freeform, inspired by lisa hannigan's entire discography at this point, like a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triforcewaffles/pseuds/triforcewaffles
Summary: Blue and Yellow's relationship as told through vignettes.Inspired by the album Sea Sew
Relationships: Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe)
Series: Vignettes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1714591
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	1. An Ocean and a Rock

**Author's Note:**

> This has shameless turned into a bellow diamond account and I have no remorse whatsoever.
> 
> This series is going to end up being quite long, I have three albums worth of inspiration to write through, including other miscellaneous songs that I want to add. This isn't exactly a songfic per say but it's influenced by the songs that the chapters are titled after. This fic is also not in chronological order, so many things will be cleared up as time goes on. I'm also always down to answer questions if you have any :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has shameless turned into a bellow diamond account and I have no remorse whatsoever. 
> 
> This series is going to end up being quite long, I have three albums worth of inspiration to write through, including other miscellaneous songs that I want to add. This isn't exactly a songfic per say but it's influenced by the songs that the chapters are titled after. This fic is also not in chronological order, so many things will be cleared up as time goes on. I'm also always down to answer questions if you have any :)

Blue’s suitcase shut with a thud as she surveyed the small room around her to make sure she hadn’t left anything. All of her things seemed to be in order, which she noticed with a satisfactory smirk. She buttoned her favorite baby blue cardigan over her shirt before grabbing the handle of the suitcase and heading down the steps of her apartment to the taxi that awaited her. Blue settled in with her luggage, thanked the driver and smiled to herself as they sat off to the airport.

It had been nearly a year since Blue had seen her lover, and in this moment, she longed for the gentle touch of calloused hands and the tender kisses of soft lips. To put it simply, Blue was head over heels for Yellow. She smiled again as she took her phone out of her skirt pocket and glanced at the lock screen. The image displayed the pair looking at each other, Blue most likely laughing over something trivial, eyes shut with laughter and Yellow sporting a grin and gaze of her own that could only be described as infatuation. Blue loved the photo as it was so rare for the rigid blonde to smile so easily around others, but from one glance from any outsider it was obvious: the ever stoic and serious Yellow was also head over heels for Blue.

The pair had met while Yellow had been studying law abroad in Dublin, where Blue lived and also attended college. Blue, being a teaching assistant and an absolute prowess in music theory, offered tutoring sessions twice a week in order to help those who didn’t fully understand or who fell behind the face paced class. Every week without fail, the tall and commanding blonde had appeared in her sessions and as it turned out, she was the  _ only _ one attending. Blue quickly came to figure out that Yellow wasn’t there to learn chord structures, she was there to learn about Blue. The connection between the two was nearly instant once they spoke to one another and from there they eventually found themselves flirting and going on dates, leading to a relationship. Yellow was only to stay in Dublin for a year before having to return for her exams that were necessary to get into law school. Blue, being a few years older, would graduate that summer with her doctorate in music performance.

There were many tears, primarily from Blue, as the two bade each other goodbye at Blue’s graduation ceremony. The two refused to let their relationship dissolve, so they kept in close touch with each other, the spark between them strong as ever. It became a bit frustrating on both ends with not being able to see each other and from being in different time zones with a six hour difference. It got to the point where Yellow had admitted that she missed Blue so much, which was a huge feat for the uptight and anal retentive blonde, that she offered to fly her to Delmarva to spend the week with her. Immediately, Blue had cleared her schedule and enthusiastically agreed to come.

Staring out of the window with a fond look on her face, she felt the airplane ticket in the pocket of her worn and slightly oversized cardigan, one of the many pieces of clothing that she’d “borrowed” from Yellow (In her defense, while the color blue complimented her lover nicely, it wasn’t necessarily her color, so it was okay if she took it off of her hands, right?) Her fingers clenched lightly around the folded piece of paper and she felt intensely giddy; it was like Yellow was there with her. 

The remainder of the drive to the airport passed relatively quickly, Blue daydreaming the entire way there, thoughts of Yellow rattling around in her mind. She paid and tipped the driver generously, kindly wishing him a nice rest of his day. Pulling her suitcase behind her, Blue went through the standard procedures for air travel and sat waiting to board her flight. Absentmindedly, Blue scrolled through her social media, not fully immersed in her task, just wasting time.

Before long, Blue’s flight was called to bored and she looked at her ticket, shocked, but not surprised that her ticket was first class. Blue had never thought to thoroughly check the ticket beforehand for herself as Yellow had been so adamant about taking care of everything for her. She snorted a bit to herself and shook her head; Yellow was never one to spare any expense, especially when it came to her girlfriend. Being the only daughter of a very respected and powerful senator, Yellow was more than comfortable in her financial status. Blue did not fall too far behind Yellow, but she hadn’t been born into money, growing up having to work for much of what she earned. Beginning as a performer at a young age, the money did come easily and she had lived comfortably. However, to Blue, money didn’t matter as long as she was happy and she was very grateful to see Yellow think likewise.

Settling into her roomy seat, Blue became excited at the prospect of reuniting with Yellow again. Interrupting her thoughts, a flight attendant came over the intercom.

“We now ask that passengers please place their devices in airplane mode before we lift off.”

Blue retrieved her phone from her pocket and sent Yellow a message.

_ I’m on my way, love. _

Her phone chimed, not even twenty seconds after.

_ Can’t wait to see you _ .

Happily, Blue put her phone in airplane mode and stared out of the window as they took off.

  
  
  
  


A gentle dinging noise awoke Blue from her sleep. Groggily, she rubbed her eyes and looked at the screen in front of her. She’d slept for the greater part of her nine hour flight to the DFW airport, but they’d be landing in around thirty minutes. Out of the window, Blue squinted at the bright light of the Texas morning. Groaning a bit, she ran her fingers through her hair. Jet lag was going to be a bitch to deal with later. 

The plane landed with a bit of turbulence, but otherwise safe and sound. Exiting the plane, still a tad listless, Blue headed to grab her luggage. After waiting for the conveyor belt to spit her worn navy suitcase out to her, she headed to meet the person she knew would be waiting for her.

Maybe saying that Yellow was “financially comfortable” was a bit of an understatement, she was  _ loaded _ . Blue was now on her way to meet Jasper, a good family friend and personal pilot of the Diamonds. From there, the two would board the Diamond’s personal jet and Jasper would fly Blue back to Empire City, right to the estate where she would reunite with Yellow. As she walked, she could clearly see Jasper’s hulking and intimidating form in the distance and she smiled lightly as she approached her. 

“Good morning, Miss O’Connor. I will be flying you back to the Diamond Estate,” Jasper greeted her formally. “I can take your suitcase for you.”

Blue smiled, a bit relieved to hand over the clunky suitcase. She gently laid a hand on Jasper’s bicep and flashed her one of her best grins, making Jasper turn a bright pink. “It’s nice to see you again. Please Jasper, Blue is fine, no need to be formal.” Though Blue never intended to be flirty, she naturally came off that way and tended to fluster most when she spoke to them sincerely. Jasper muttered something of agreement out of embarrassment and began leading Blue to the jet. 

Jasper held the door open for Blue and led her inside, placing her bag in the cabin. Blue was no stranger to this aircraft as she had boarded it a few times when Yellow’s mother had come to visit her in Dublin. Though it was not typical for a private jet to fly across the ocean, when Whitney Diamond wanted something done,  _ it got done. _ However, Blue didn’t mind the commercial flight from Ireland. She minded even less so knowing that it would have been complicated and taxing on not only Jasper, but on Yellow arranging for it to be done.

Blue wasn’t a stranger to Jasper either, which made the flight a little more relaxing. Looking around, Blue smirked at Jasper in a childlike manner, her cobalt eyes glinting. Knowing exactly what she wanted to ask, Jasper sighed in defeat. 

“Fine, come on and have a seat in the cockpit.” Jasper motioned and stalked off to her seat. Blue followed eagerly behind on her heels. This was a place where Blue had found herself before, intrigued as she watched Jasper press various buttons and monitor various radars while she flew the plane with confidence. Not only was Jasper’s talent alluring, but the view from the front of the plane was mesmerizing and Blue found herself in love with every cloud they passed.

Once situated in the empty seat next to the broad pilot, Blue pulled out her phone and called Yellow while Jasper checked all of the knobs and buttons on the dashboard. After only one ring, a voice answered.

“ _ Hello, Blue.”  _ The usually commanding Yellow greeted, almost chipper. Blue’s breath hitched in her throat and she felt the butterflies in her stomach.

“Hello, my love. Jasper and I are on the plane, we should be taking off very soon.” Blue replied, excitement lacing her lilting voice.

“ _ Great, I’ll be waiting.” _ Yellow murmured and Blue inwardly swooned.

“I will see you soon, okay? I love you.” Blue said.

_ “I love you too, my moonbeam. Get here safely.” _

The call ended with a click and Blue blushed and put her phone in her pocket, turning to Jasper who grinned at her lopsidedly. “Damn, and I thought  _ you _ had it bad. Jaune is  _ in love with you _ .” she teased, snorting a bit. Blue simply swatted her gently on the arm and rolled her eyes, slightly embarrassed, but her straight smile still ever present from the reassurance.

“Oh, hush.” She chided Jasper, gently. A smirk still displayed itself on Jasper’s face as she guided the plane down the runway and the two lifted off into the clouds. As always, Blue always loved the feeling of being so free in the air. After allowing herself to get lost in the bliss for a moment, Blue focused her attention on the concentrating pilot.

“So Jasper, it occurred to me that after the few times that I have been in your company, we have never taken the time to get to know each other.” Blue began. Jasper barked a small laugh at Blue’s comment. 

“There’s not much to know, ma’am. I’m not that exciting of a person.” Jasper offered, her rough voice filling the cockpit.

“Oh, come on. We have, what...three hours until we reach our destination?” Jasper nodded at this, “Then I insist!” Sighing, but smiling in her crooked way, Jasper began telling Blue about her childhood, her hobbies and everything in between. In order to be fair, Blue exchanged information equally with the woman and the two laughed and quickly began to enjoy each other’s presence even further. As the pair neared the estate, Blue found that she had made a new friend and the prospect lightened her mood even more.

Jasper expertly landed the plane and led Blue out of the hangar to a car where she would be driven to the mansion. Nearly visibly buzzing from excitement, Blue sent Yellow another text.

_ I’m nearly home _ . 

“Miss O’Con-?” Jasper paused to correct herself. “Blue?” 

Blue turned to look at her. “Jaune truly is lucky to have you.” Jasper said, her cheeks tinted a light pink as she gave Blue a lopsided smile.

“Of course, Jasper, anytime. It’s always lovely to make a friend.” Blue answered and Jasper turned a darker shade of red, keeping her eyes on the road in front of them. She merely hummed in response. 

The smile would not leave Blue’s face no matter how hard she tried. 

The drive was only about fifteen minutes and Blue all but jumped out of the car when Jasper pulled it to a stop. Yellow stood on the front steps with her hands in her pockets, a rare and genuine grin plastered on her face at the sight of her girlfriend. Blue ran as fast as she could and tackled Yellow in a hug, sobbing lightly into the crook of her neck, being overwhelmed with emotion. Confused, Yellow pulled back and looked at her with concern. 

“Blue, is everything okay? You’re crying.” She pointed out, a frown forming on her face.

“Everything’s  _ perfect,  _ love. They’re happy tears.” Blue smiled and wiped at the tear stains on her cheeks. Yellow pulled her in for a tight hug, trying to make sense of the incapacitating infatuation that she felt for her partner. Sure, long distance had been rough on both of them, but it had nothing on the feeling of being reunited after a long year. An ocean could never separate the undying devotion and compassion that the two had for each other. Placing a soft kiss to Blue’s forehead, Yellow looked her in her eyes with determination. 

“I’m not letting you go again, I couldn’t stand it.” Yellow admitted, the blush rising up to her cheeks. It wasn’t like her to be so forthcoming with her feelings and the words surprised her as they tumbled past her lips.

“Nor could I, I am so happy to see you.” Blue sniffed and tightened her grip around Yellow’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss. 

“Blue… move in with me. Please, we can get our own place. Anything you want, I will make it happen.” Yellow proposed fiercely, but nervously, looking away from Blue waiting for a response. For the second time in the past thirty seconds, Yellow was surprised by her honesty. Mentally, she slammed her head against the nearest pillar, embarrassed at being so sappy. The blue eyes widened as they met with green ones.

“Yellow, so sudden!” Blue gasped, a bit stunned. Yellow tried not to let her face fall too much and give her disappointment away.

“It’s okay, I underst-” Blue placed a finger over Yellow’s lips, silencing her almost instantly.

“But yes. A million times, yes.” Blue smiled. Yellow embraced her in another tight hug, laughing softly into her cinnamon brown hair.

  
  
  
  


The young couple had spent the first few days searching for places to live in the nearby area. Unsurprisingly, there had been a few that Blue had liked, but Yellow had been more difficult to please. Blue would always comment on how lovely the house was and then Yellow would make snide comment on how there wasn’t enough natural light or she didn’t like the neighborhood. It was mildly frustrating to Blue, but she understood; she did want her girlfriend to be happy with wherever they chose to stay. 

At this point, it had seemed as though nothing they saw seemed to satisfy both of them. There was a slight air of disappointment and hopelessness that filled Yellow’s Subaru as she drove behind the real estate agent in front of them. They still had one more house to visit, but neither of the two of them had their hopes up. Blue bit her lip in the passenger’s seat and stared out of the window as she worried silently.  _ What if this doesn’t work out how we wanted it? _

In that moment, the real estate pulled into a long and winding gravelly driveway. The coast was very nearby and Blue perked up when she noticed this. She had spent many days at the sea in Ireland and it was one of her favorite pastimes. When they pulled up to the house, Blue immediately fell in love. The two story house had been freshly painted a comforting shade of pale blue. Much of the accenting had been done in white, but the front door on the house was a pleasing shade of yellow. 

It was undeniable that this house had been made for the two of them.

“Come on in, I’ll show you around.” The agent waved Blue and Yellow over and they followed, sharing a knowing smile between them. As they were shown around the house, Blue adored everything about it and she noticed that Yellow was more than happy with it as well. The house was perfectly sized for them, giving enough room for it to feel spacy, but not too much to where it felt empty.

Outside, Blue and Yellow stood and talked with the agent. 

“I think it’s clear that both of you love it.” The businesswoman smiled at the two and Blue nodded, eagerly. 

“How much does it cost?” Yellow asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Around 500,000.”

Blue’s heart broke. It was more than out of their price range. Yellow’s expression soured as well. 

“I see.” Yellow responded and lost herself in thought for a bit. “We’ll discuss it and then contact you.” The real estate agent agreed and bid them goodbye before the group all climbed into their respective cars and left the property. In the car, Blue was silent once again, every last shred of hope that she had now gone. Yellow gently laid a hand on her girlfriend’s thigh and sighed. 

“It’s a shame, isn’t it?” Blue smiled, bitterly. 

“I’m sorry, Blue. I know you really liked it.” Yellow comforted her and Blue fought to keep the tears out of her eyes, choosing to stare out of the window instead. 

The next few days passed and the dread of returning home and not being with her girlfriend sat in Blue’s stomach like a weight. With less enthusiasm than when she came, Blue packed her bags and sat on the bed. She’d be leaving soon, returning to the ever bland lover-less life that she lived in Dublin. Yellow came in and sat down, her expression more serious than usual. 

“I cancelled your flight.” She stated simply as Blue’s eyes widened. 

“Why would you?” Blue asked, confused as ever.

Yellow handed her a manilla envelope and didn’t say anything else. Blue opened it slowly and unfolded the paper, reading it. Immediately, her head snapped up.

“Jaune, you..you didn’t.” Blue stuttered, her voice wavering. There was no way she had. 

“Oh, but I did.” Yellow smiled, gently. 

“ _Y_ _ ou fucking bought the house?! _ ” Blue squeaked, her voice somewhere between elated and angry. 

“You really liked it,” Yellow waved her hand. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“But that’s so much money! It was way out of our price range and-” Yellow silenced her by chuckling.

“Blue, darling. My mother’s a senator, we own our own private jet, I’m going to law school and hell, I‘m  _ rich _ . Money isn’t a problem at all.” She stressed the last sentence in hope to calm some of Blue’s anger.

Blue folded her arm across her chest, flustered and slightly irritated at the gesture but inwardly overjoyed.

“I appreciate it, I do, but how am I supposed to reciprocate something this grand?” Blue asked. Yellow tenderly cupped Blue’s face in her hands and kissed her softly. 

“You can spend the rest of your life with me. I think that would be more than enough.” Yellow smiled and Blue pulled her back in for another kiss. “I’d buy one million houses if it meant I could make you happy.”

“You’d be broke, love.” Blue teased and Yellow laughed, a harsh and dissonant sound that Blue so adored. The brown haired girl dissolved into laughter herself and the two fought to catch their breath. Once the giggles had subsided, Blue grasped Yellow’s hand in her own and looked into her eyes.

“I love you, and  _ thank you _ .” Blue said sincerely and Yellow returned the feeling by kissing her again before standing up and extending a hand in Blue’s direction.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” She asked and grinned. “Jasper’s flying us back to Dublin, you’re moving as soon as possible.”

Blue smiled and took the extended hand, lacing their fingers together as they headed to the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I realize that yellow might be a little out of character, BUT I intend on explaining that as we get further into their story. Thank you for reading!


	2. Venn Diagram

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a wise woman listening to Meg Thee Stallion once said, "Yuhhh, get into it!"
> 
> This chapter is like..... 100% fluff and I had and incredibly fun time writing it ;)

The sunlight caused Yellow to gently stir as she awoke. Her eyes opened slowly to look at the clock on the wall opposite from the bed. 8:43 am, her alarm would be ringing any moment now. Right on cue, the tone sounded and Yellow quickly disarmed it so it wouldn’t disturb the sleeping form on her left. Next to her, Blue shifted in her slumber, exhaling softly as she re-positioned herself in the comfortable bed. Yellow found herself grinning at her wife as she moved, adoration filling her heart. Such a heavy sleeper. 

As of recent, they had rarely seen each other. Blue had just begun working on promoting a new EP that she had recorded in their very own house, in the small room that had been converted to a studio. That meant that many days, she was off performing, or interviewing or whatever else went along with being an artist. Yellow wasn’t too sure of the logistics, the thought of fame made her head spin, but she would support Blue through anything. 

In the meantime, Yellow had been able to switch to doing most of her work from home so that she could take care of and spend time with their daughter, Rosaline, or more affectionately, Pink. At four years old, she was  _ more _ than a handful. She may have stood at three feet tall, but her personality easily gave her an extra four. Both of her mothers loved her something fierce from the day she was born and always made sure that she was always a priority. Yesterday had been one of the first days of many that Blue, Yellow and Pink had time to spend together as a family. They had spent most of the day at the beach that was essentially theirs alone, considering that it was only a few hundred feet from their backyard. Pink had been thrilled to have both of her parents play with her all day in the sand near the salty sea, giggling the whole time. 

Even Yellow herself felt unusually relaxed as she got to spend time with her two favorite people. 

At the end of the day after watching the sunset, Pink had fallen asleep and Yellow had carried her back up the path to the house, kissing her forehead gently as she placed her in the bed. 

After doing so, she had found herself occupied with Blue in more ways than one, their lovemaking lasting nearly all night.

Speaking of Pink, Yellow found it odd that it was so quiet this late in the morning. Deciding that nothing good could come from the lack of sound, she gently eased herself from under Blue’s languid arm, stretching as her feet hit the ground. Blue frowned in her sleep and swept her arm back and forth, seeking the familiar warmth. Squinting, she opened one of her eyes. 

“Something wrong?” She mumbled, sleep in her lilting accent. Her cobalt eyes opened a little more and she peered at Yellow. Smiling gently, Yellow leaned over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and pressed a light kiss to her lips. 

“No, go back to sleep. I’m going to take Pink to the market with me, she’s probably restless by now,” Yellow explained. “Besides, I know that you’re exhausted from last night.” The smirk was present both in her voice and on her face. Blue couldn’t help but giggle tiredly. 

“You’re right. Come back soon, okay?” She said, but her words slurred lightly as the sleep began taking over her again. Yellow gently caressed her cheek before she crept out of the room. Blue was snoring before she could shut the door.

Making her way down the hallway, she slowly pushed open the door to her daughter’s room. Yellow was surprised to see that she had just woken up, her cinnamon brown curls splayed messily around her head in a halo as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“Good morning, starlight.” Yellow greeted her softly, making her way over to sit on the bed. Yawning, Pink crawled from under the covers and over to sit in Yellow’s lap. She wrapped her tiny arms around her neck as she placed her head on Yellow’s chest. Instinctively, Yellow found herself wrapping her arms around the child. The woman placed a small kiss to her head before resting her chin in the soft curls. 

“Good morning, mama.” Pink said in her tiny lilting voice, and Yellow’s heart melted. Though she didn’t have a complete Irish accent, she had picked up some of the inflection from her mother, creating a sort of hybrid. 

“Did you sleep well?” Yellow asked. She felt a tiny nod. 

“I think I could sleep forever, mama.” Yellow chuckled lightly at this and ran her fingers through her daughter’s brown hair. She had gotten that from Blue, her biological mother, though they weren’t quite sure where the curls came from. That was a mystery.

“What do you say we go get ingredients to make breakfast for mommy before she wakes up?” Yellow asked the girl and she could almost  _ feel _ the stars in Pink’s eyes. 

“Yes, please!” Pink answered enthusiastically. Yellow immediately gestured for her to shush and Pink giggled at the frantic look in her mama’s eyes. 

“Mommy is still asleep, we have to be quiet.” Yellow explained in an over dramatic whisper. Pink’s mouth parted in a silent  _ oh _ and she nodded, miming zipping her lips. 

“Let’s get dressed and then we can go.” Yellow told Pink and set her down on the bed as she moved to pull clothes from the closet.

***

The two were finally able to leave after getting ready, but not before Pink was insistent that they left a note on the nightstand by where Blue slept. The words ‘ _ be back soon!’  _ had been messily scrawled in pink crayon on a piece of paper. A few of the letters were backwards, but Pink was only four and she had tried her best. 

Clad in blue jean overalls with a long sleeve shirt, pink rain boots, and a puffy pink jacket with a pompom hat to match, Pink skipped slightly ahead of Yellow as they made their way down the sidewalk. It had taken convincing, but Pink had finally persuaded her mother that she wouldn’t stray far. It was nearing October and the air had gotten a bit crisp, especially in the morning. Around them, the leaves were turning vibrant, earthy shades of red, orange, yellow and brown. Though the sky was cloudy, it was a very nice morning and Yellow found herself enjoying the weather. 

Every once in a while, Pink would stop to point out something she thought was cool (usually a bug or a neat rock) or she’d giggle as she jumped in a puddle or a pile of crunchy leaves. Yellow had given up trying to stop her splashing three puddles ago. Pulling her coat a little tighter around her as the wind nipped at her skin, she smiled fondly as she watched her daughter.

As they neared the intersection to cross the street where the market was, Yellow grasped Pink’s soft tiny hand in her larger calloused one. Her grip tightened instinctively as they waited, afraid that Pink would dash off at any moment. Though she was usually (emphasis on  _ usually _ ) well behaved, she wouldn’t put it past the small girl to get a streak of defiance. The light turned green and Yellow quickly crossed the street, Pink’s stubby legs struggling to keep up with her mother’s lengthy strides. 

Walking a little further down the street, the doors slid open and Pink rushed to grab a cart. After a few minutes of arguing with Pink on whether or not she would have to sit  _ in _ the cart (“I’m a big girl, I’m too old to ride in the basket!” She had protested), Yellow sighed and gave in, letting her ride  _ on _ the cart as Yellow pushed it behind her. For someone to share blood with someone as passive as Blue, their daughter sure seemed to inherit the tenacity of Yellow, though the feisty trait was something of her own. Pink’s head barely peaked over the top of the basket as she craned her neck to look around with Yellow moving quickly and efficiently through the store. She squealed as a display caught her eyes and she pointed. 

“Mama, look! Donuts!” She squeaked excitedly. “Can I have one, please, please,  _ please _ ?” Pink’s eyes widened and Yellow fought the urge to give in immediately. She was very similar to Blue in that way, too: huge eyes that sparkled and seemed to shake Yellow to her very core. 

“ _ May  _ I,” Yellow corrected her daughter. “And the answer is no.” 

“But mama-“ Pink began, but Yellow cut her off. 

“No buts.” Pink’s face fell and her tiny lip jutted out in the way that it does before she was about to cry. Tiny tears formed in her eyes, but she tried to hold them back as best as she could. It was common for the young girl to throw tantrums, but those mostly occurred at home or with Blue; Pink knew better than to try it with Yellow. However, what Pink  _ did  _ know was how to tug at Yellow’s heart strings and she couldn’t stand the heartbroken look on her four year old’s face. Yellow sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled before speaking. 

“If I get you one, do you promise to be on your best behavior?” Yellow asked, raising an eyebrow. Pink nodded fervently, wiping at her eyes and already wiggling her way out of where she was between Yellow and the basket, trying rushing over to the glass case. Yellow stopped her before she could get far. 

“And you have to ride in the cart.” Yellow added. Pink opened her mouth to protest, but a stern look from Yellow silenced her immediately. The young girl knew better than to argue, otherwise she wouldn’t be getting anything.

“Okay.” Pink agreed, defeated, but still happy.

After Pink had chosen a pink iced donut with sprinkles, Yellow had placed her in the cart before continuing their shopping. She had decided on making breakfast sandwiches out of bagels, eggs and bacon. After grabbing the necessary ingredients, she stopped by the produce section to grab strawberries and raspberries, two of Blue’s favorite fruits. In the cart, Pink had finished her donut and had effectively managed to get icing all over her face, but her clothes remained spotless. Yellow had never figured out how she managed to do it, and she sighed as she reached into her purse for a wet wipe to clean Pink’s face as they waited in the checkout line. 

With a brown paper bag balanced in Yellow’s left arm and Pink’s hand held tightly in her right hand, the two set off on their journey back home. It had warmed up slightly since the two had left and the clouds were now going away, giving way to sunshine. The sugar from the donut had seemed to infiltrate Pink’s system and she was nearly  _ vibrating _ with energy as Yellow tried her best to wrangle her without dropping the groceries. By the time they made it back to their house, Yellow was exhausted and minutely irritated, but she did her best to quell her frustration. After all, Pink was only a child. 

Yellow had finally managed to calm Pink down by offering her the opportunity to help make breakfast and the girl enthusiastically agreed, dragging the stool over from the sink in order to be able to reach the counter. Side by side, the pair worked to scramble eggs, toast bagels and fry bacon. Though Pink had mostly watched, she puffed her small chest out proudly as Yellow would give her a mundane task to accomplish such as letting her turn the knob on the stove or press down the lever on the toaster. Yellow had been generous enough to even let Pink press the buttons on her fancy coffee maker as well, watching as the girl went starry-eyed over the contraption. It wasn’t long before the door could be heard creaking open upstairs and light footsteps were making their way to the kitchen. 

“I saw the note you left me. What’s all this?” Blue asked, a smile playing on her lips at her wife and daughter. 

“Good morning, mommy. We made breakfast for you!” Pink grinned and ran over to embrace Blue and the woman crouched down to pull her into her arms. Gasping theatrically and feigning a ridiculous amount of surprise, Blue looked at Pink. 

“Goodness! All of this for me?” She asked and began tickling Pink stomach with her delicate fingers. Pink squealed in laughter and tried to get away from Blue to no avail. Yellow tried to hide her smile as she sipped her coffee and leaned against the counter watching the interaction before her. An overwhelming feeling of love made its way into her heart, instantly making her feel warm.

“That’s so kind of you, sweetheart,” Blue said warmly as she stopped tickling her daughter. She planted a kiss on both of Pink’s chubby cheeks and brought her in for another warm hug. “Thank you.” Pink hugged back before Blue stood up and made her way over to Yellow. Pink climbed into her seat at the table and began eating her sandwich with gusto.

Blue enveloped Yellow into a hug, leaning her head on her wife’s shoulder. Yellow sat her mug down so that she could wrap her arms around Blue. 

“Thank you, love. You didn’t have to do any of this.” Blue smiled as she chastely kissed her wife, tasting the familiar bitter sweetness of coffee on her lips. Yellow smiled as she placed a kiss on her forehead.

“You’ve been working so hard, you deserved this.” Yellow said, enjoying the momentary blissfulness of the morning. Yellow placed a finger under Blue’s chin and tilted her head up so that she could look her in the eyes. 

“I am  _ so _ proud of you, Amrin.” Yellow said. She didn’t use Blue’s given name often, the legitimacy of the statement was obvious. Blue smiled so hard that she was sure her face would split in two, but she opted to not answer; Yellow’s words had said enough. 

“Mommy, come eat!” Pink waved her over, gesturing to the sandwich that had been prepared for Blue. The berries had been cut and arranged in a heart (Pink insisted on doing so and Yellow had inwardly admitted it was a cute gesture) and the cup of tea steamed off to the side. Letting go of Yellow, but entwining their fingers, she led her over to the table where the both sat in their respective spots.

In that moment, Yellow felt truly at peace with her life. She’d been through hell and back with Blue over the years, but being here with her wife and daughter made all of the past temporarily disappear. It was time to focus on her ever promising future. Pink rambled on about something that Yellow hadn’t particularly been paying attention to, being lost in her own thoughts. Blue reacted where it was necessary and nodded her head as she listened to her daughter. 

_ Their  _ daughter. 

As Pink continued ranting, Yellow caught the eye of her wife, who flashed her the most beautiful smile, one that she’d never get tired of seeing. At that moment, Yellow’s eyes were so full of tenderness, no words needed to be spoken between the two. Pink had stopped talking, noticing that Blue was no longer listening.

She looked back and forth between her two mothers. Though she couldn’t comprehend the concept of love to its fullest extent, she knew what it felt like and she knew that both of her parents loved each other; they both loved her. She offered a sweet smile at Blue before smiling at Yellow.

In that moment, Yellow was positive her heart was going to burst.


	3. Sea Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and rewrote this chapter many times before deciding that it would have nothing to do with the actual song itself and is solely based on the title, so I apologize in advance if you happened to be looking forward to that

“A date?” Blue asked, a smirk playing on her face. The tips of Yellow’s ears reddened as she cleared her throat. Her stern features quivered with uncertainty before she spoke.

“You could call it that.” Yellow confirmed, careful to keep her voice casual. It was kept  _ too _ casual, otherwise it would’ve been believable. Blue beamed and Yellow fought to keep the flustered look off of her face. Damn Blue, ever the goddess.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Blue winked. Yellow bowed her head slightly in agreement before stiffly exiting and leaving Blue in the room alone. The Irish woman waited until Yellow was out of earshot before laughing giddily out of excitement. A date!

The early October sun only served to improve Blue’s mood as she walked out of the building and towards her apartment complex. She felt light and she walked with a little extra bounce in her step. Yellow had finally asked her on a date! Sure, they had been on dates before, but usually Blue had been the one to extend the invitation. Either that, or Yellow had straight up danced around the question and forced Blue to draw conclusions herself. The blonde was one of the most straightforward and blunt people that Blue had ever met, but she seemed to be more shy and reserved around the TA. It didn’t matter at now, though; Yellow had confirmed that it was, indeed, a date. 

Blue found the time had passed quickly since she had something to look forward to. The day had gone by already and she was now waiting for Yellow to pick her up. Blue had been told to dress comfortably, but warm, so she had thrown on a pair of fleece leggings and a baby blue pull over jacket. She hadn’t bothered to put on much makeup either, only concealer and mascara. Fidgeting on the couch, she waited. Blue was nervous, but excited all the same. A sharp knock on the door caused her to jump and she quickly got up to peer through the peephole. 

On the other side, Yellow stood, running a hand through her hair quickly and checking her watch. Blue opened the door with a smile and Yellow extended a hand in her direction. 

“These are for you.” Yellow stated plainly, holding out a small bouquet of lilies and roses. Blue was taken aback, not expected Yellow to show up at her door with flowers. A smirk timidly played itself at Yellow’s lips and Blue could see that she was nervous.

“These are lovely, Yellow! Thank you.” Blue said and took the flowers before wrapping Yellow in a hug. The blonde hugged back after a few seconds, exhaling slightly in the embrace. “Do you mind waiting just a second while I put these in a vase? You can come in, you know.”

Yellow stepped into the apartment behind Blue, shutting the door. Blue began filling a vase with water from the kitchen sink and noticed her crush standing awkwardly near the door. 

“Yellow, love,” Blue comforted her gently, giving her a comforting gaze from the kitchen. “It’s just me, relax.” Yellow turned a light shade of pink and muttered something to herself, but her shoulders and clenched jaw did loosen ever so slightly. After placing the flowers into the vase, Blue wiped her hands off on a kitchen towel before going to join Yellow. 

“I’m ready now.” Blue smiled, and Yellow nodded as they stepped out of the apartment and to the car. 

It would have been way too much of a hassle for Yellow to get her own car overseas to Ireland, so she had opted for leasing one. It wasn’t her beloved Subaru, but it did its job and that was what mattered the most. As they neared the car, Yellow strode towards the door, pulling the handle before Blue could get the chance. Blue thanked her and climbed into the car, buckling her seatbelt. Yellow appeared on the other side of the car and climbed into herself before pressing the start button on the dashboard. Carefully checking both of her mirrors, she pulled out and began driving down the long road. 

“I think you’re really going to like this.” Yellow said confidently, grinning at Blue. 

“I’m sure I’d enjoy doing just about anything with you, love.” Blue assured her, laying a gentle hand on Yellow’s arm. She relaxed slightly under the touch, but kept her focus on the road.

It was a short drive and sooner or later they found themselves at Sandymount Beach. Since the weather was getting colder and the sun would set within the next hour, the beach was vacant. Blue smiled at Yellow. She had always loved the sea and it had fostered many positive memories. 

“I have stuff that I need to get out of the trunk,” Yellow told her as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Stay put, and no peeking either.”

Her last words held a teasing tone to them and Blue giggled, staring out of the window at the expansive water. The Irish woman hummed to herself as she waited and before long, Yellow had appeared in her window. Blue took the hand that was extended to her and laced her fingers into Yellow’s. The warmth was reciprocated as Yellow led her further down the beach.

“Wait, cover your eyes.” And Blue did as she was told. They walked for a while longer before Yellow told her it was okay to look. Blue uncovered her eyes and gasped.

Yellow had set up a picnic on the beach, complete with empty canvases, paint and what looked like dinner to go along with it. Everything had been meticulously arranged and Blue could tell that a lot of thought had been put into it. 

“Oh, Yellow…” Blue’s heart melted and she couldn’t find the right words to say. Yellow cheekily grinned and rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. 

“I figured that you might like it.” She answered. Yellow led her over to the checked blanket on the ground and sat down. Blue followed suit, kicking off her shoes and crossing her legs under her. Yellow began unpacking the food from the basket. It wasn’t anything fancy, just sandwiches, an assortment of fruit and a bottle of wine, but Blue loved it all the same.

Blue picked up the canvas in front of her and stared at the water, thinking of what to paint. An idea popped into her mind and she began squirting the paint onto the palette and picked up a brush. It had gotten windier, so she neatly swept her long hair into a bun and enthusiastically got to work. Yellow chuckled softly at Blue’s eagerness before taking a bite of her sandwich and also beginning to paint. 

The two fell into a comfortable silence, occasionally making small talk between bites of food or sips of wine. The sun had begun to set, and Yellow had turned on a small solar powered lantern that she had brought with them. It was so like her to be prepared for everything. 

“Okay, I’m done.” Blue announced, happy with her work. 

“Me too.” Yellow squinted at her canvas, not as happy with her drawing, but satisfied all the same. Her hands fidgeted ever so slightly and Blue could tell that she was trying to keep calm. Blue grew a little worried, Yellow had been acting strangely all night. Pushing it aside, Yellow motioned for Blue to show her canvas first and she did so gladly. 

As Blue turned her canvas around, it was clear that she had painted a portrait of Yellow. She had done a remarkably good job, too, and Yellow had found herself thoroughly impressed. On the canvas, Yellow’s face was set in her familiar scowl, but it seemed as though the light from the sunset illuminated her in all the right ways. On her head sat a flower crown made of orchids, serving to soften her appearance ever so slightly. For Blue to be done in such a short amount of time, there was an impressive amount of detail. 

“That’s… incredible.” Yellow breathed, studying the portrait as Blue placed it into her hands. It instantly became one of Yellow’s most prized possessions as she gently ran her fingers over the canvas.

“Thank you, now show me!” Blue grinned, waiting for Yellow to turn her canvas around. Yellow blushed, not meeting Blue’s eyes. 

“It’s not as detailed as yours, but it…” Yellow searched for the right words. Blue gaze was comforting and she cleared her throat to try again, more confident this time. “It’s not too shabby.”

Yellow turned the canvas and Blue studied it intensely. 

Yellow had painted Blue as well, though she was more of a silhouette than the main focus. The waves seemed to be approaching the shore and rocks behind her and although the painting wasn’t amazingly detailed like Blue’s and had more of an abstract vibe, it was heartwarming.

“Oh! It’s me.” Blue took the canvas from Yellow, smiling. “Great minds think alike, don’t they?” A small smile displayed itself on Yellow’s lips and she nodded in agreement. . By now the sun had set and the last rays of light were disappearing over the horizon. Overhead, the stars slowly began to appear, twinkling and dancing like fireflies. Blue placed her head comfortably on Yellow’s broad shoulder and Yellow tentatively wrapped an arm around her, resting her hand on the other side of Blue’s leg. The two of them stared at the sky, drinking in its dusk.

“Yellow?” Blue asked. Yellow hummed in response, still looking up. “Why are you never straightforward with how you feel about me?” Yellow froze, dreading the outcome of the inevitable conversation. Of all times to bring this up, Blue chooses  _ now _ , when everything was going so well? Yellow stayed silent, thinking of how to word her answer.

“It’s not in my nature to express emotion in such a forthcoming way.” Yellow said simply, once again dancing around answering Blue’s question directly. She still focused her attention on the stars, not wanting to look at the pitying or disappointed look that she knew would be on Blue’s face. Everyone always had the same reaction to that answer, it was never one that made people strive to put any further effort in. Or if they did attempt to be stubborn and coax something out of her, their attempts were commonly futile and they’d give up shortly thereafter. Her words usually had quite the opposite effect, in fact, and often chased them away.

Instead, Blue didn’t shy away.

“I understand that,” Blue assured her. “But it is a bit frustrating.” Yellow knew that. She could see the way her hopefulness faded in her eyes whenever Yellow would avoid her questions or the way she would look at Yellow, waiting for her to make a move. Blue continued on, not ready to let go of the conversation.

Oh, how Yellow wished that she would just drop it.

“It’s very obvious that I’m into you, Yellow. I spend all of my time thinking about you, I constantly want to be with you, and the only reason I am even still having tutoring sessions is so that I have an  _ excuse to see you _ , one that you can’t flake out of. You can’t just dance around your feelings forever.”

“I can.” Was the simple answer that came from Yellow’s mouth. She kept her face neutral but on the inside, her stomach was burning and her heart felt like it was about to expel itself from her ribcage. She cursed herself for shrugging off Blue’s confession so easily.

“‘I can’? That’s what you choose to say?” Yellow could  _ feel _ the fury radiating off of Blue, even if she didn’t outwardly show it and kept most of her composure. Blue stood up from where she was sitting, bitterly chuckled, and looked down at Yellow who couldn’t bring herself to tilt her head up to meet the icy gaze. “I am very honest with you about how I feel and I feel like I put in a lot to get nothing in return. Jesus, that sounds so selfish of me, especially since you went through all this trouble to take me on such a nice date, but I just don’t understand how you can be so  _ nonchalant _ about me being so eager to be with you and quite frankly I think that-”

Yellow couldn’t take it any longer. 

“It’s because I’m in love with you!” Yellow blurted out, her eyes immediately widened in shock as she realized what she had just said. Internally, she felt as though she had just popped the tab of a shaken soda can. Her words fizzled in between them like bubbles, disconcerting, but beginning to simmer. Blue’s expression mimicked her own, before softening.

“Come again?”

“I’m in love with you and I’m afraid of it. The feeling.” Yellow confessed, screwing her eyes shut and grasping the bridge of her nose in between her fingers.  _ Don’t cry or lose your temper, don’t cry or lose your temper. Or both.  _ “I’ve never felt like this before.”

Blue gently kneeled down in front of Yellow gently cupping her face in her hands.

“What’s scaring you so much?” Blue prodded her gently, but not invasively. Never invasively.

“I don’t know. It’s such an intense emotion that I don’t have experience with and I hate not being able to control it.” She hadn’t lied, but she hadn’t told her the full truth either. It was that, and Yellow’s fear of not being good enough for Blue. She’d never admit that, however, and it would only lead to Blue trying to convince her that she was good enough, a tiring cycle that Yellow wasn’t ready to deal with. Besides, she came off as too confident, too arrogant. Yellow was never associated with self doubt, she made sure of that.

“It’s okay to not be in control, you feel what you feel and that’s okay.” Blue assured her, tilting her head up to meet her gaze. “It’s not an easy feeling, it’s confusing. But I promise you that I will be here to guide you through it. Is that a deal?” Yellow was overcome with emotion, so much so that she surged forward and captured Blue’s lips in a longing kiss.

“What are we doing, even? What are we?” Yellow asked as she pulled away, uncertain and nervous for the answer.

“You tell me.”

Yellow so desperately wanted to burrow herself in the sand like a crab, to be able to roll away with the tide avoiding the question altogether. But no, that wasn’t the right approach to the situation and she wouldn’t be holding up her end of the bargain with Blue. She drew in a deep breath before meeting Blue’s eyes.

“I would like for you to be my girlfriend.” Yellow stated, matter of factly, her voice evening out. Her confidence was slowly returning, even if she was scared out of her mind. 

“Okay, I’m your girlfriend, then.” Was Blue’s simple answer. The moonlight reflected off of her wavy and flowing hair, making her skin glow and her eyes sparkle in the dim light. She looked truly ethereal, an extension of the moon. A moonbeam, even, as the glow danced around her. A radiant smile painted itself on Blue’s face and Yellow knew she had made the right decision.

“Okay.” Yellow said and nodded stiffly, unbelieving of what had just happened. Blue settled back onto the blanket, placing her head back in the same familiar spot. Yellow stared out at the sea now, drawing her focus to the waves that lapped at the shore a few hundred feet from their feet. It was silent, the only noise being the sea and muffled noises from cars in the distance.

“You don’t have to be afraid to love me.” Blue whispered. Yellow immediately stiffened at the weight of her words. Her chest felt tight as the realization that Blue was right hit her like a truck. A lithe and gentle hand found its way into hers and squeezed once. Yellow’s grip tightened on Blue’s hand, not wanting to let go. 

She didn’t plan on ever letting go.

“I’ll help you through this as long you need me to, love. It’s no longer you or I, it’s  _ us _ .” Blue said and fell silent again. Yellow’s mind numbed at the implication of her words.

“It’s us.” She found herself repeating and rubbed her finger in small circles across Blue’s soft hand. The longer the words mulled over in her mind, the more she was able to believe them. It wasn’t an attempt to convince herself this time, there was a glimmer of hope. She’d work at being more expressive and at being less apprehensive of her feelings. Yellow would walk to the ends of this Earth and every other planet in the galaxy if it meant that Blue would be there with her. 

Yellow finally found herself being able to breathe regularly for the first time in months. She hadn’t come to Dublin and expected to fall in love, much less with someone as kind and compassionate as Blue. But as she looked out over the sea and at the woman - no, her  _ girlfriend _ \- beside her, she realized that she would not want it to be any other way. The two sat peacefully on the beach, just being. Coexisting.

“Oh and Yellow?” Blue whispered, an attempt to keep the solemn air of the moment in place as she broke the silence again.

“Yes?”

“I am in love with you as well.”

A full smile graced Yellow’s lips as she placed a kiss on Blue’s forehead and embraced her tightly. She noticed, as she looked over the top of her girlfriend’s head, that the moon shone the most bright and the most beautiful that she had ever seen, every crater and spot visible in the cool night.

It seemed to be smiling with her, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? Not as fluffy.


	4. Splishy Splashy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst is back!

It had been roughly eight months since Blue and Yellow had begun speaking again and every day, they grew a bit familiar to each other once more. Yellow had sold her small house and moved back into the one that she had bought for the two of them during the early stages of their relationship. Not too long after Yellow’s return, the pair fell into a comfortable routine that suited the both of them and gave way to contentment. 

Every morning, Yellow would rise with the sun and begin making her morning coffee along with boiling water in the kettle for Blue’s tea. Yellow knew in her mind that Blue never seemed to sleep very long after she woke. 

Unbeknownst to Yellow, Blue never found herself able to sleep well without her wife next to her, the bed felt too vacant and empty.. 

Yellow would add the leaves to the tea and add just a pinch of sugar to her coffee before pouring the drink in their respective mugs and taking them both out to the small garden behind their house that looked out over the sea. The garden was curated tenderly by Blue, a pastime that she both enjoyed and used to distract herself from her psyche. From there it would only be a matter of time before Blue sleepily would pad outside. Her cinnamon hair and cobalt eyes would always glow in the golden light of the sunshine and draw Yellow’s attention. She could never stop herself from smiling as her wife gave a small yawn and bid her good morning. Blue would then sit down on the porch swing next to Yellow, hesitantly take a sip of her coffee, and scrunch her face in disgust as she folded her legs beneath her and settled her tea in her lap. The blonde found it strangely endearing and would chuckle softly as the two fell into a complacent silence. 

Yellow would finish her coffee and head inside to prepare herself to go to work and Blue would water the plants in her absence. It had taken a few months, but Blue had begun singing again, often humming to herself as she moved about the garden. The first time that Yellow had heard her mellow voice, she had cried as she watched Blue from the window, not wanting to disturb her. Every morning before she would leave, Yellow always made sure to embrace Blue tightly and tell her that she so desperately loved her and she was truly lucky to have her.

These are sentiments that she hadn’t said enough over the last year and a half and she deeply came to regret that decision. 

Blue would plant a soft kiss to her lips, wish her a good day at the law firm and then settle into whatever activity she had planned. Some days she’d paint in the studio that they had added onto the house, blues and yellows swirling onto the canvas before her. Some days she’d sit with whatever instrument she’d chosen at the moment and she’d sing for  _ hours _ until she was hoarse, reciting songs that she’d remembered from over the years or ones that she’d written. When the time for Yellow to return began drawing nearer, she’d begin cooking dinner for the two while listening to music from the vinyl record player that Yellow had given her for their first anniversary. Her favorite record just so happened to be one that Yellow had custom made for her, featuring a performance by Yellow herself tacked onto the end. As much as she would refute it, Yellow truly did have a lovely singing voice and Blue adored hearing her sing.

Yellow would return, usually frazzled and stressed, but Blue would always make sure that she was taken care of, being careful to unwind her lover after a strenuous day. The two would eat and discuss their days with each other, Yellow ranting and raving about the expectations she was placed under and Blue explaining her newest song or artwork that she was currently working on. Yellow would always insist on Blue either showing her work or playing for her and it always ended in gentle, but enthusiastic praise that made the cinnamon haired artist glow. The rest of the evening was usually spent snuggled on the couch under a blanket once they had completed their nighttime bathroom routines and they’d watch television until they decided it was getting late or until one of them fell asleep. There were many nights where Yellow would carry Blue to bed, gently kissing her forehead before curling up next to her. To anyone, it would seem that the pair was perfectly happy, healing together and making new strides in their relationship.

This, however, did not mitigate the fact that Yellow knew that Blue was still silently drowning in her internal grief. And Yellow would vehemently oppose it, but she was grieving, too. 

It was an idiosyncrasy that Yellow had become very intimate with after nearly eight years of being with her wife, but confronting her about it was like stoking a fire. Every attempt was met with ardent denial and the same words over and over again: “Yellow, I’m  _ fine. _ ” To Yellow, it was clear that Blue was indeed  _ not _ fine, but Yellow had given up on bringing up the issue; as it turned out, she had fallen in love with someone who could be just as stubborn as she was, if not more so. 

Though most days were bliss, there were days where Blue would relapse. She wouldn’t get out of bed to meet Yellow in the mornings, Yellow wouldn’t come home to Blue covered in paint splatters or with angry raw fingertips and a raspy voice, there was the absence of dinner simmering on the stove or in the oven. Blue wouldn’t speak to her at all. Her eyes spoke volume though, tears always waiting to be shed and a weight that was nearly impossible to lift. Yellow never hesitated to do everything she could to make Blue feel better; lying with her in silence while she sobbed into her shoulder, gently cleaning her up in the bathroom and even taking off of work some days just to be with her sullen wife. 

Despite being frustrated to no end with Blue’s grief and her own, Yellow understood the need to be there for her. She had already run away in the past, she couldn’t bear to do it again, no matter how insufferable it sometimes felt. It had been an action that had nearly given way to a major consequence. 

Yellow’s stomach flipped at the thought.

At the memory of dragging Blue’s lifeless body from the water, desperate for a sign of life.

Patience was not a virtue that Yellow was accustomed to, but for Blue, her tolerance was sky high. Yellow would make accommodations for Blue until the day she died, she swore by it. Many days, Yellow would attempt anything she could to make Blue smile. It was an incredulous feat to snap the morose woman out of her stupor, even momentarily, but Yellow seemed to have success, even if those successes were few and far between. Some days it seemed damn near  _ impossible _ , but nevertheless, the blonde would persevere and dedicate herself to making Blue happy. 

It doubled as an additional distraction to her own mourning.

On very, very,  _ very _ rare occasions the roles would be switched. Where Blue’s agony was watery and somber, Yellow’s was angry and full of fire. There’d be days where Blue would walk on eggshells, afraid to misstep and become the target of Yellow’s anger. Even though Yellow’s mood would often sour her own, she always found a way to prioritize her wife’s feelings. Blue’s soft and gentle hands grounded Yellow in ways that were violently comforting and in those moments Yellow became so vulnerable, so weak and distressed. It was a side that was very rarely displayed now, a trait that seemed to disappear completely as a result of becoming so emotionally shut off. Blue made sure that validation was the forefront of her comfort; if anyone understood her pain, it was her. Much of their relationship had begun on the principle of opening up and being able to embrace what they felt and Blue refused to let the progress be erased.

It went on this way for months, but each day was progress and each day moved towards a brighter future. Grief was a slow process, which was a notion that both Blue and Yellow understood. Some days, it’d gnaw away at the both of their stomachs, eating them both alive. They’d argue, scream and yell at each other. Wanting so desperately to blame the other for the damage and for their pain. 

But they couldn’t, the circumstances had been out of control of them both.

It hurt. It hurt  _ so damn bad _ .

It would almost always be Blue who would apologize first. Yellow’s ego and stubbornness couldn’t afford to be bruised, she couldn’t afford to be seen as fragile. It had always been something that she was bad about, but it had only seemed to get worse as time passed. 

Her facade became stony and more difficult to crack, Blue only succeeding every once in a while. Blue would say she was sorry and dissolve into tears in Yellow’s arms, who would apologize and forgive her. Yellow  _ always _ made sure to forgive her, it was never her fault (God, it wasn’t  _ either _ of their faults, why couldn’t they just accept that?)

There had been only once when Yellow had said it first, after she knew she had taken it too far. It was like her to have trouble controlling her temper, but sometimes she had a hard time seeing when to let it go and simmer down. Yellow wasn’t sure what it was, what it had been, but it sent her descending into a seething rage, aiming her verbal blows where she knew they would hurt the most.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t want to blame herself, she was so stressed. So tired. Wanting change. Desperately seeking an outlet and happening to choose the wrong one. 

Yellow’s mind was hazy when it came to remembering details, but what she did remember was the eerily silence after Blue’s yelling and sobbing had ceased. The vacant stare in her wife’s eyes and the way she had nearly collapsed as she watched the pain colored Blue’s face. Yellow had felt weak as she stumbled over to Blue, apologizing profusely for her words. Blue had forgiven her almost immediately. How could she not?

And from here, the reconstruction was only beginning. Relapse happened, as to be expected with any recovery, but they were resilient and they had each other. They staved off the agony as much as they could by feigning happiness. Their smiles were present and their laugher would occasionally drift through the house or out over the garden and into the sea. 

The lively and coveted emotion never quite reached either of their eyes.

It definitely hadn’t reached their hearts.

And yet through all of it, they still loved each other. They needed each other and they had vowed to be there until the end, come hell or high water. 

They were breaking.

Bending.

Broken.

Fallen. 

But it wasn’t anything they hadn’t been through and anything that wouldn’t become less painful over time. It had been that way before, and it would fix itself in the same way again.

A broken relationship may have been restored, but it was still healing from a shared wound.

As was to be expected from the loss of two unborn children.


	5. I Don't Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only an idiot would decide to get back into writing this fic days before they move back to college and get busy
> 
> it's me, i am the idiot. anyway, i hope y’all enjoy

“Yellow?” Blue asked, a gentle smile on her face. It did not matter how many times that she said that nickname, every time, Yellow would blush at the lilting accent and dazzling grin. Embarrassed, Yellow cleared her throat and folded her hands across her lap.

“Yes?” Yellow answered, awaiting the question. 

“Humor me for a bit.” Blue proposed, stirring her straw around in her drink. Yellow noticed that her girlfriend’s eyes were just the slightest bit unfocused and her gaze was a little dopey. She couldn’t talk though. Her vision was also blurred around the edges, her mind fuzzy, and her tongue felt thick in her mouth. Blue had drunk probably twice as much as she had, but she only seemed to be on the brink of being tipsy. Yellow, on the other hand, was _definitely_ at that mark. 

Demanding that Yellow allowed Blue to take her somewhere “cool and exciting” (Blue’s words exactly), Blue had dragged her ornery girlfriend to one of her favorite pubs in Dublin for dinner. Yellow did have to admit that the food was tasty and she did have a good time. Then again, she always seemed to have fun in Blue’s presence.

“Go on…” Yellow motioned with a lazy wave of her hand. Blue sipped her drink.

“Twenty questions. I’ll start.” Blue smiled a devilish grin. Yellow wasn’t sure what possessed her to agree to such a trivial game (probably the alcohol - actually, definitely the alcohol) but she nodded, taking another gulp from her glass.

“Have you ever smoked before?” Blue asked, innocently. Yellow chuckled softly, caught a bit off guard at the question. 

“I bought a pack of cigarettes once during one of my teenage rebellion streaks. My mother found out and that was the end of that. I didn’t like it very much anyhow.” Yellow answered, looking at Blue, who was currently trying to picture a teenage version of her girlfriend getting told off by her mother for being disobedient. 

“I was somewhat of a stoner in high school.” Blue offered and at this Yellow choked on her drink, mid sip. This made Blue laugh as Yellow coughed, trying to steady her breathing. “Don’t worry, I’ve moved beyond that now. It’s not as fun as it used to be.”

Yellow finally gained control again and thought as she drummed her fingers on the table. 

“You live in Europe, what other countries have you been to outside of Ireland?” Yellow asked, leaning forward towards Blue. In an instant, Blue began rattling off all of the countries that were nearby. Yellow found herself a little jealous; she had been such an overbooked overachiever in her childhood and adolescence that she often didn’t have much free time, let alone time to travel. Looking back on it, she wasn’t sure if she preferred it that way or not.

“My turn. Do you speak any other languages?” Yellow paused and thought for a moment.

“I’ve never had trouble understanding most languages and I can communicate in Spanish, though I can’t speak it fluently quite yet.” Yellow offered. 

“Ah, _j'ai passé pas mal de temps à étudier le français_ .”* Blue replied, easily slipping into the foreign language. Yellow’s instantly gawked at Blue, impressed and well, _turned on_. Her girlfriend noticed this and giggled. “I speak Gaeilge as well, though not often.”

Yellow nodded at this, racking her brain for her next question. “Would you say you’re a good driver?” Blue scoffed at her question. 

“Yellow, love. I’m gay. Either I can do math or I can drive, not both,” Blue joked. “And I have consistently graduated at the top of my class, so do with that what you will.” Yellow wasn’t sure why she’d asked, she’d witnessed her driving firsthand. Blue just so happened to be one of those people who drove with only one foot on the ground and often had trouble with being distracted.

“On a scale of one to ten, how much do you love nature?” Blue asked.

Yellow cocked an eyebrow at the question but answered anyway. “Seven, although I will say that Ireland is much more beautiful than the States.” 

At this time, their waiter had noticed that they had both finished the last of their beverages and offered to bring them more. Yellow looked across the booth to Blue who shrugged. _To hell with it_ , Yellow thought and asked for another round. They didn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow anyway, it was winter break and time didn’t matter. 

“Would you prefer writing letters or talking on the phone?” Yellow asked as they waited. 

“Letters!” Blue answered instantly. “There’s something so cute and romantic about sending them and having to wait so long for an answer.”

“So you’d rather me send you letters once I leave?” Blue frowned.

“You could do both.” She pouted and Yellow promised that she would. The drinks were delivered and neither of the women hesitated to start drinking again.

“Can you swim?” Blue asked. “Like… Michael Phelps level of swimming? You seem like you can.”

“You’re looking at one of Empire City’s best divers. I placed first at most of my meets.” Yellow said, a tinge of pride in her voice. Blue looked fascinated and made a mental note to ask about it in detail later. 

The two continued trading off questions and drinking, exceeding well past just twenty questions. It had gotten to the point where they were both too buzzed to continue and had paid the bill before stumbling out into the frosty air. Blue leaned against Yellow as they made the walk back to her apartment. Though Yellow had been assigned to a dorm, she basically lived with Blue at this point and often spent much of her time with her girlfriend. Tonight had been no exception. 

“Yellow, I think we drank too much.” Blue giggled softly. Her words slurred and her accent thickened as her breath billowed into clouds in the cold night. Yellow grinned despite her usual manner. She had also had more than enough to drink and had well exceeded her limit, but she had managed to keep most of her regular composure. 

“I think we did too.” Yellow answered, wrapping one of her arms around Blue’s waist. Blue started laughing and found herself unable to stop. Yellow rolled her eyes fondly at her drunk girlfriend and guided her carefully down the slippery sidewalk. They had gotten maybe one block further before tiny snow flurries began to fall from the sky. 

“Snow!” Blue exclaimed, squirming her way out of Yellow’s grasp. “It rarely ever snows in December.” Blue tilted her head back and stuck out her tongue, desperately trying to catch a snowflake. She tilted a little _too_ far back and found herself falling before strong arms caught her.

“Are you okay?” Yellow asked, squinting down at Blue, concerned.

“Yeah…” Blue giggled. “You’re so strong.”

Yellow blushed and cleared her throat, helping Blue gain her footing. 

“You’re drunk, Blue.” Yellow scoffed, a smile playing on her lips. _Hell, I am, too._

“So are you, silly.” Blue sang, pressing a finger to Yellow’s nose, causing the blonde to go cross eyed. It seemed that Blue wouldn’t stop giggling anytime soon and Yellow found this to be infectious, the laughter escaping from her throat in a manner that was foreign. Yellow’s hands gripped Blue’s waist and pulled her closer, Blue stumbling forward with a small yelp. 

Dopey smile met dopey smile.

Yellow leaned in and pressed a soft, somewhat clumsy kiss to Blue’s lips. It was short, and she pulled back resting her forehead on Blue’s.

“Yellow, I think I’m in love with you.” Blue breathed, a serious expression crossing her face. Yellow pulled Blue into a tight embrace, laughing as she did so.

“Are you laughing at me?” Blue slightly slurred, confused at Yellow’s laughing. Yellow continued laughing, nearly doubling over with tears. 

“Blue,” Yellow gasped out between laughing, attempting to get a hold on her uncontrollable amusement, “We’re so drunk. _I’m_ so drunk.” Yellow brought Blue in for another kiss before continuing.

“I know you love me, you’ve told me before, moonbeam. I’m in love with you as well.”

It seemed that words registered with Blue, and she smiled at Yellow, lacing their hands together as they continued walking towards Blue’s apartment.

“Do you want to continue playing the game?” Yellow asked and Blue nodded eagerly. 

“Okay, I’ll start. Does the sea have any draw for you?”

“Yellow, you’ve taken me on multiple dates to the sea.” Blue reprimanded her gently. 

“Right, I apologize.” Yellow attempted to shake her head a little clearer. She wasn’t sure if it worked, but it felt as though it did.

“Are you a morning person or a night person?” Blue asked.

“I’d say morning, but I don’t seem to sleep much in general.” Yellow shrugged. It was true, with studying for law and being such an overachiever, the persnickety blonde didn’t have much time for much else. However, what she _did_ make time for (and secretly, what she would always make time for) was her girlfriend.

A gust of wind passed and Yellow instinctively pulled Blue in a little closer. The law student was silent for a moment, thinking of a question.

“Can you dance?” Yellow asked.

“In what way?” Blue asked, stumbling just a bit as they walked.

“In any way, really.”

“I took ballet lessons for a few years when I was a child. I suppose I’m well versed at other forms of dancing as well, though.” Blue winked at her girlfriend who blushed. She wasn’t precisely sure what that could’ve possibly meant, but the thought made her mind race. Yellow made an effort at clearing her throat trying to get the notion out of her mind.

“Are you a picky eater?” Blue asked, pulling Yellow out of her thoughts. 

“I wouldn’t say so.” Yellow answered, still blushing.

“I’d love to cook for you sometime, if you’d allow it.” Blue offered. “I make a great mushroom risotto, I think you would enjoy it.”

Yellow nodded. It was silent as the pair walked up to the apartment door, Blue pulling her key out of her pocket. She clumsily attempted to insert the key in the lock, but with her impaired judgement, she couldn’t seem to get it together. Yellow sighed, shaking her head fondly and took the key from Blue, turning it in the lock. She will admit that it did take more focus than normal, but that was to be expected. 

“Are you a huge reader?” Yellow asked, gently guided Blue into her apartment. 

“I enjoy reading quite a bit.” Blue answered, her gait slightly inept. Both of the women kicked off their shoes at the door, Blue walking across the living room to the small hallway that led to her bedroom. Yellow followed closely behind. Blue pushed open the door to her bedroom, and all but flung herself on her bed. 

“God, I feel so gross.” Blue half whined, burying her head in her arms. Yellow handed her girlfriend a bottle of water from her nightstand, which she reluctantly took, fumbling with the cap before downing nearly half the bottle in one go. She burped, which made Yellow grimace, before asking her question.

“Do you love the hand that feeds you?”

“You promised that you would cook me dinner sometime, so I would say yes.” Yellow said. Blue seemed satisfied with this answer.

“Have you ever had your heart broken?” 

“Yes, I have. Have you?” Blue asked. She seemed slightly uncomfortable with the question.

“I have.” Yellow answered, simply. There was somewhat of an awkward silence before Blue broke it. 

“Have I ever told you that I like drawing?” Blue finally mentioned. Yellow shook her head.

“I do. I have a few that I’ve done centered around you.” 

By this time, Blue had spread out across her bed like a starfish. This was common for her, she seemed to be a very ungraceful and wild sleeper, but Yellow didn’t mind. The less bed room, the more contact that she absolutely had to have with Blue and she didn’t see an issue in that in any shape or form.

“We don’t even know each other’s favorite songs or albums, do we?” Blue said. Sleep had begun to creep into her voice as she yawned. Yellow moved to remove the clothes that Blue was wearing and dress her into something more comfortable. It was the first time she had taken care of Blue while they were both drunk and it most certainly would not be the last. 

After dressing Blue in a faded t-shirt from her drawer, Yellow removed her own clothes, sliding under the covers with the sleepy artist. Throwing one leg across Blue’s thigh, and her arm around Blue’s waist, Yellow snuggled in closer to Blue. Despite having such a hard facade, she rather enjoyed physical human contact - specifically with Blue.

Blue had nearly fallen asleep now and the alcohol had begun to show its effects on Yellow, her head beginning to throb slightly along with her churning stomach. It was a problem to be dealt with in the morning.

“You don’t know if I sleep like a spoon, or rarely at all.” Blue mumbled, her eyes closed as she pulled Yellow in for a tighter embrace. Yellow shook her head at her girlfriend’s drunken words. There was a high chance she wouldn’t remember much of her rambling in the morning. Silence filled the room again before Yellow spoke.

“It’s been fun playing this game with you, Blue.” Yellow said. There was no reply, but she didn’t look to see if Blue was still awake or not.

“I’ve had such a good time with you, I don’t know how you’ve managed to do it.” Yellow said, her voice unknowingly dropping to a whisper.

“I don’t fall easy at all, moonbeam.”

The only response to Yellow’s answer was a hearty snore. The blonde exhaled a small breathy chuckle before kissing Blue’s forehead and reaching her hand over to switch off the lamp on the nightstand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge huge HUGE shoutout to the (w)homie myonebraincell for motivating me to continue writing this, you're the absolute best and i am so so so grateful for you :)


End file.
